I Wonder

I’ll be honest.  I love compliments.  The best one I’ve gotten recently was, “There’s always something fun happening with your hair.”  At first, I didn’t know quite how to take it.  It sounded awfully close to Megamind’s, “Your hair is exciting!”  Doesn’t it?  I am a master of the uncompliment when the occasion calls for it, too, so I was skeptical.  The conversation continued, though, and my friend was able to clarify—or cover—very well.  So, it’s all good. 

The compliments that I love most are the ones that my husband gives me.  I know that he thinks I’m pretty and smart and funny, but I love hearing it.  I wait for it.  I revel in it, but do you know what I love even more?  When he calls me his best friend, his wife, his beautiful bride, his lover…when he treats me as such. 

In those moments, I know that I am to him what no one else can be, and it thrills my heart. 

I wonder if that’s what true worship feels like to God. 

It’s one thing to compliment God, to tell Him what He already knows about Himself.  That He is holy.  That He is worthy.  That He is merciful and good.  I’ll admit that’s the kind of worship that I offer most often.  There’s nothing wrong with it.

It’s true.  It’s simple.  It’s safe. 

I guess that’s the trouble.  It offends no one and really costs me nothing, speaks nothing of my relationship to Him.  In fact, those who don’t know Him say the same things without flinching, but I have an intimate relationship with Him.  I get to call Him Savior, Redeemer, Lover of my Soul, Friend.  I should do so more often.

Sometimes, though, I’m too broken to call Him anything, and my heart cries out to my Beloved in a language only He can understand.   Pretty worship aside, pretense gone, I beg my Defender for protection, my Savior for forgiveness, my Judge for mercy, my Teacher for wisdom, my Healer for health, my Father for comfort…and the list goes on and on. 

In my weakest moments, when I feel I have the least to give, I worship best.  I treat God like the Great I Am, my everything.  That’s something no one else can be to me, and I hope it thrills His heart.